Fear of Speaking
I think part of the reason I wanted to be an author is because I never felt like I really had the right to have a voice. Even now I get scared if I speak before being spoken to, because I might somehow be doing something wrong, or will be harmed as a result.
Every time before I hit post on social media or an email or text message, I feel a sense of impending doom. Too many bouts of the silent treatment for speaking out against a harmful status quo and/or abusive expectations around when I could talk have instilled this sense of terror in me.
Writing my book was a way for me to start pushing back against that fear. I feel like I still have a ways to go with not being afraid of speaking up when I need to, but I feel like publishing was a huge step in that journey.